What I've Learned About Attraction as I've Gotten Older

One thing I learned as I got older is that your taste in things can change completely.

A simple example is coffee.

When I was younger, I couldn't imagine drinking unsweetened black coffee by itself, without vanilla or some form of a sweetener. The thought of someone drinking black coffee could make me gag. It's seemed so bitter and disgusting.

But now, I drink coffee with just milk and no sweetener, and somehow, it tastes amazing to me.

Although, I am planning on cutting out any caffeine usage, but that's beside the point. I just don't like to depend on anything. The point is that something I once found almost unbearable became something I genuinely enjoy.

That made me realize something: as we grow, our tastes can shift in ways we never expected.

And I've noticed the same thing happening with attraction, particularly what kind of women I'm attracted to.

Younger me was only attracted to looks, if a girl was physically attractive, I was into her. But I realized that at this point in my life, it takes way more than just physical attraction. Even though looks absolutely matter, I'm much more attracted to who someone is.

And also, the things I'm physically attracted to are drastically changing. I learned that I'm very attracted to athletic and fit girls (which is something new), but I also like a very soft and feminine body. I like girls around my age or a bit younger, but I'm also attracted to girls older than me. I thought I only had one or two types that I like physically, but I'm attracted to many different things honestly. I don't know how to properly describe everything, as it feels a bit vulnerable, but every new girl I'm attracted to is drastically different from the other. I just keep noticing new things and new looks that I find appealing that I wasn't attracted to before.

These are just some changes in physical attraction I've noticed as I've gotten older. I'll just leave it ambiguous because it's constantly changing.

But more than anything physical, I'm now much more attracted to how someone is, their energy, their personality, their hobbies, how they carry themselves, how they speak, their goals and aspirations, their abilities, and how they spend their day. I'm so attracted to talent or just being skilled at something. Girls who are super smart, and educated, and can speak multiple languages, and have abilities.

Someone can be very attractive physically, but if their only hobby is to be at home all day scrolling on tik-tok, I cannot see myself with them. I find it unattractive if they don't have aspirations to grow and improve.

All of these things that I'm now attracted to are a change from before. Because before, I didn't think about any of this. For younger me, it was a simple choice, is she pretty or no.

But now it's a lot different. I want to admire them more than anything, and that's honestly the biggest difference. Because when you truly admire someone, attraction becomes much deeper than desire.