Feeling anti-social lately

June 13, 2026. 8:00 PM

What that title says, I've been feeling anti-social lately. I haven't had any interest in talking to people or spending time with anyone lately. I'm not sure, but I've been in this hyper-work mode where something has to feel productive in order for me to want to engage in it. I don't want to be like that. Today, I talked to someone for an hour and I can feel the agitation increasing inside me as I'm listening to them talk because in my mind, that's an hour wasted that could've been used for something productive like learning a language or working out. Instead, I had to talk to someone.

I don't like to talk to my co-workers. I wear meta-glasses at work so that I can listen to a podcast to learn Spanish via comprehensible input, and completely ignore my co-workers. That feels a lot better and more rewarding than having a meaningless conversation with a co-worker that isn't going to be in my life in the next few months since I'm moving to another state anyways.

I don't have any interest in making friends, being around people, wasting my time. I don't know. The truth is, time is moving so fast. I have a list of tasks that I have to complete every single day like working out, studying Spanish, doing vocal lessons, vision tracking training, and programming. I often run out of time before I can complete every single thing. I still do all these things daily, but I would like to allocate more time to them because they're very important to me. And taking time away from these things to hang out with someone and have meaningless conversations really bothers me. Like bothers me more than I can explain.

It's weird that I'm in my anti-social phase, mainly because I'm a natural extrovert. It doesn't make sense to feel this way, but I justify it in my head by saying I have more important things to take care of than to talk to people.

But I also studied psychology, and I understand clearly that human beings are social creatures. And it's bad for someone's psychology to isolate themselves. I have to find a balance between work and doing things outside of work. It's just that honestly what makes me happy IS being productive. I feel my best after an amazing boxing workout at the gym. I feel super happy when I complete a program and have a functional website. I feel happy when I increased my Spanish score on Duo-Lingo. These are the things that make me happy.

My barista job takes a lot of my time, and that's not productive to me, that's a complete waste of time just to pay bills. Maybe in the future when I don't have to work these unproductive jobs, I'll have free time to spend with people.

I want to embrace my anti-social phase for now but I do feel guilty making people around me feel unwelcomed. I don't know, I'm going to see how I feel in the next few months regarding this.